On Building Community: The Unexpected Joys of Saying Yes to Inconvenience
- May
- Dec 6, 2025
- 3 min read
Scrolling through Substack recently, I came across a quote that stuck with me: "Inconvenience is the price we pay to build community." It made me pause and think about how often I choose comfort over connection. We all say, "I'm busy," or "I don't have time," when invited to gatherings or events; especially if those events fall in the middle of the week. But what if those inconveniences are actually the bridges to deeper relationships?
I want to share some personal stories about moments when I almost said no but decided to say yes instead; and each time, I found unexpected joy and connection waiting on the other side.
Saying Yes to New Faces at Friendsgiving
One of my neighbors recently invited me to a Friendsgiving with a few of her friends. My first thought was to decline. I only knew her, not the others. The idea of walking into a group of strangers felt uncomfortable. But I realized that if I wanted to build a more personal relationship with her, I needed to step outside my comfort zone and make the effort to learn more about her world and the people in it.
I said yes.
The evening turned out to be warm and welcoming. I laughed, shared stories, and even made a couple of new friends. My neighbor is an elementary school teacher as well as her friends. I know nothing about being a teacher but the stories they shared with me were incredible. It was amazing to realize that I was in a room with people that provide so much to our community. The inconvenience of stepping into the unknown was small compared to the joy of feeling more connected.
Making Time for Family Recitals
Another time, my cousin invited me to her younger brother's band recital on a weeknight. I usually go to bed early because I wake up very early for work. My first instinct was to say no. But then I thought about how rare these moments are. Recitals don’t happen often, and showing up meant a lot to him.
I made the small sacrifice of staying up later.
The music was beautiful, and seeing my little cousin perform gave me a sense of pride and closeness that I wouldn’t have felt otherwise. That night reminded me that sometimes, the best way to support the people we care about is to adjust our routines.
Driving Far to Celebrate a Friend’s Birthday
A good friend of mine invited me to her birthday celebration. We already live a bit far from each other, so I knew that whatever restaurant she chose was going to be at least 50 minutes away. I dread driving long distances, but I knew that celebrating her meant more than avoiding a commute.
I decided to do the drive.
The party was full of laughter, good food, and meaningful conversations. The drive felt worth it because I was there for someone important to me. It showed me that inconvenience can be a small price to pay for moments that strengthen friendships.
Why Saying Yes Matters
These experiences have one thing in common: I genuinely enjoyed each event, even though I was hesitant at first. Saying yes to inconvenience helped me build stronger connections and create memories that matter.
Here are a few reasons why embracing inconvenience can help build community:
It shows you care. Making time or effort signals to others that they matter.
It opens doors. New experiences and people enrich your life.
It strengthens bonds. Shared moments create lasting memories.
It breaks routines. Stepping out of your comfort zone can lead to personal growth.
How to Start Saying Yes More Often
If you want to build community but find yourself saying no too often, try these simple steps:
Pause before declining. Give yourself a moment to consider the potential benefits.
Set small goals. Say yes to one new invitation each month.
Focus on the people, not the inconvenience. Remember why the invitation matters.
Plan ahead. Adjust your schedule to make room for meaningful events.
Reflect on past experiences. Recall times when saying yes led to joy.
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